The misfortune of inner criticism: How to get rid of the habit of “devouring” yourself?

Every person has encountered an “inner voice” at least once in their life: this is a set of thoughts that not only do not help you, but on the contrary, weaken your spirit, decrease your confidence, and tightly block all possible opportunities in your life. We often confuse this inner voice with self-criticism, blaming ourselves, and sometimes even insulting ourselves. If a person always feels guilty, constantly belittles themselves for their appearance or behavior, they lose the sense of satisfaction and happiness in life. According to the advice of psychologist Olga Romanyv, this is the quietest, but the worst form of “psychological violence.”

Why does inner criticism appear?

The inner critic is the “fruit” of frequent reproaches, blame, and neglect heard in childhood. If parents, relatives, or teachers at school often criticize the child, pay more attention to mistakes, or if there is a lack of attention and support, feelings of guilt and inadequacy settle in the person. When growing up, these feelings turn into an “inner critic,” and in the most difficult moments, block the person’s path with thoughts like “I am to blame,” “I am not enough,” “I will never succeed.”

Modern society can strengthen this process even more. Ideal appearances, unstable success, and the seemingly perfect lives of others on social networks—all this further intensifies the feeling of “unacceptability.” A person constantly compares themselves with others, every time seeing how far they are from “ideals,” they blame and criticize themselves.

Negative consequences of inner criticism

Most people do not know how dangerous the consequences of inner criticism can be. If a person constantly lives with blaming, belittling, and undervaluing themselves, such psychological pressure leads to a number of serious problems:

Violation of mental health: Constant stress, anxiety, depression, lack of self-confidence. A person feels like no one needs them, feels useless and worthless.

Loss of social life: A person, thinking of themselves as “complicated” or “not complete,” distances themselves from others, closes themselves to new things and relationships, and stops trusting people around them.

Decrease in motivation and productivity: Because of guilt and low self-esteem, a person refrains from setting goals and striving for them, loses activity and action, and gives up opportunities.

Impact on physical health: As a result of long-term stress, problems arise in the cardiovascular system, immunity, and other organs.

Self-harm: Often, as a “reward” of the inner critic, a person punishes themselves—overeating, giving in to bad habits, or other unhealthy behaviors.

How to get rid of it?

The first step in overcoming any psychological problem is to recognize it. First of all, you need to understand what the inner critic is and how it affects your life.

1. Observe your self-talk. Every day, in any situation, write down the words with which you scold yourself. Pay attention: blaming, insulting, humiliating judgments—all these are the voice of your inner critic.

2. Look at the inner voice from the outside. Imagine you are another person and say these critical words to them. What feeling arises? Of course, it will hurt you a lot.

3. Respond to the inner critic. In contrast to such words, find supporting and kind phrases: “I am trying despite the difficulties,” “I have many achievements, I deserve this,” “Even mistakes are needed for my development.”

4. Keep a list of daily achievements. Write down small victories, good deeds, pleasant moments that remain in memory. Reading them, you will once again feel your value.

5. Love yourself. How do you treat a close friend, child, or loved one? Treat yourself the same way—do not spare yourself emotional support and kindness.

6. Create a positive environment. Communicate more with people who support you, say good things, and show good attitude. Try to stay away from negative environments.

7. Engage in new interests and hobbies. By rediscovering yourself and achieving new successes, you will reduce inner criticism.

8. Do not be afraid to consult a psychotherapist. With the help of a specialist, you can understand the reasons for the appearance of the inner critic and overcome them correctly.

In conclusion

Inner criticism can be a “hidden enemy” in a person’s inner world. Fighting this enemy is not easy, but do not be afraid to face it and take responsibility for your mental health. Do good to yourself every day, feel your worth again, and try to become not an “inner enemy,” but an “inner friend.” In this way, your life will become more complete, meaningful, and happy.